Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Not in Public

Okay, so as many of you already know I am a mom.  My son is 2 years old and his the best.  I drop him off at daycare every morning and he loves it.   He gets to play with other kids and he learns a lot  and he comes home singing a new song almost everyday.  Anyways, on one particular day, I was dropping him off like I always do.  I signed him in and  he said good morning to all the teachers in the hall way ( he really is a nice boy), but then as we turn into the hall way, we see a mom screaming at her son because he wouldn't eat the breakfast they were serving, but the thing is, this was all going on while all the other children and teachers were watching.

I was so embarrassed for her son.  I could see how hurt and upset he was because everyone was watching. Please do not misunderstand, I am all for correcting a child when it needs to be done, but I asked myself "was that really necessary?" I mean,  I think in her shoes, I would have taken my son to the side and calmly explain that it was important to eat his breakfast.  I do not believe in screaming and correcting a child in public, not like that.

I remember when my brother and I were little, all my mom had to do was give us "the look".  I'm sure most of you are familiar with this "look".  If my brother and I tried to misbehave or get away with anything because we were in public, all my mom had to do was give us "the look" and  say " we will speak when we get home." Oh how I hated when she said that.  I hated it so much in fact, that I would start crying the minute we were in the car.  My mom never corrected  us in public.   All she had to do was give us "the look" and we knew what was coming.

 I'm trying to teach my son all about " the look" early.   I will never want to see the look that the child in the daycare had on my son.  I think its completely unnecessary. I think situations like that need to be handled in private.

Luckily for me, my son is usually pretty good in public and he saves his tantrums for when we are at home.  I happen to like it that way.  Hey, better at home then in public right?

What are your thoughts? How do you feel about how that mom was handling the situation at the daycare?  I love to read  your comments.


The White Whimsies said...

Hi, Thanks so much for following my blog. I am now following yours as well.

I totally agree. There is a time and a place to discipline your child.

Have a great day!

Diane said...

I really enjoyed your post. I know "the look" very well! I am now a grandmother, but my children new "the look" and now my granddaughter. I agree there is a time and place for discipline.

Mommy Glow said...

Its a really hard balance. Because you want your child to understand that the behavior is not ok and shouldn't be done again, and at the same time you want to be firm but not cause a scene. And bringing up the issue at a later time with a child is not very effective because they've already forgotten the incident that is still so fresh in their minds.
My daughter used to have awful tantrums in the store. I remember one time at CVS when she threw herself on the floor crying. Looking back I can laugh at how silly she was acting, but in the moment I was embarrassed. I remember just picking her up and walking out of the store. It's always hard to see parents being harsh to their children in public. But I have to remember that we all have different parenting styles and I would hate for someone to comment on how I parent my daughter.

Ramona said...

Wow, now you surprise me, the way I raised you up was the right way? Thanks!

I completely agree, you child is a little person with feelings; we, as adults do not like to be embarrass in public or in front of others. The same happens to your child, we need to respect our children in order for them the respect us. You can say something like, we will have a talk about this when we get home.

Great post!

Alicia@ Mommy Delicious said...

Hi Alex!

I'm following you from Mommy Delicious ( I saw your comment on The Young Mommy Life and decided to check it out.

I'm not a fan of mothers degrading their children at all... in public or at home. But as a single mother and as someone who works with children and parents on a daily basis, I know how frustration can take over sometimes and you can do something that you regret.

My son is much better with tantrums now. Well, actually I'm much better with handling them now. :-) I used to get SOOOO embarrassed at his tantrums in public, but now I stay calm and focus on him, NOT his audience aka people staring. That works better. Sometimes I have to leave a store, but sometimes I'm stuck there. Like when he has a tantrum on the subway -- can't go anywhere. But I stay calm, and eventually he calms down to and we deal with the situation at hand.

Alex said...

Thanks for your comment ladies.. :)

Ro said...

I know the "look" & the "squeeze" & the "Pinchofdeath" very well. But theres truth in all the comments. Its a balance..

between you and your breaking point
Your foot and their ass.. Im JK!!! (no beatings)

but seriously- good post.

TheBabyMammaChronicles said...

I feel the same as you. Unless what the child has done puts himself or someone else at serious risk of harm then quiter correction is called for. My Mom wasn't a yeller either and I hated disappointing her even more than my disciplinarian dad.

Lynn MacDonald said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog. MY kids are older but i remember those days well.