Sunday, November 14, 2010

Why I waited ...

I get this question all the time." Why did you wait so long to have a baby?" " Do you regret it?". I guess, one of the main reasons I waited, was because I wanted to get "everything out of my system" and by that I mean, the clubbing, the going out with friends on weeknights, I wanted to enjoy my freedom and I also wanted to make sure I was mentally prepared. I don't think you can ever be one  hundred percent prepared, a lot of the learning is hands on, but I wanted to be as mentally prepared as I could possibly be. Being a parent is the biggest and most important  job anyone could ever have. Not only are you financially responsible for this little person  ( and its EXPENSIVE) believe me, but you are also responsible for this child's mental heath and happiness.After seeing what my own mother went through, alone,with two kids non the less, I knew that being a mom was no easy task. My friends that were having kids, were mostly in their early to mid  20's and they  would all talk about how wonderful and fulfilling it was  to be a mother, they would speak  of that love that you feel when you see your child for the first time and they would all tell me the same thing" you will only know when you have your own baby". But then there was the complaining of how tired they always were or how they never got to go anywhere anymore.  So, at that time, I decided I will wait until I was closer to my 30th birthday to have a baby. I was not ready to give up my freedom and all the fun I was having. I was selfish. I'm 33 years old now and my son is almost 3 and I don't regret waiting.  At the time I got pregnant I was one hundred percent sure I wanted to have a baby and not only that, I knew it would only happen when the time was right. Now that I am  a mother and I see all of the struggles, the constant worrying, the taking care of them when they are sick, the having to  make sure they are taking care of in every way that a person needs to be taken care of, I've realized damn, this is hard and then I ask myself, " how do younger moms do it?". When I think back  to the person that I was at that age, I don't think I could have done it . I applaud  all of the  young moms  that are working hard every day to provide for their  kids, whether they are with their husbands/baby's father. I applaud  you for taking care of business. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
I would love to hear your thoughts . What age do you consider to be "too old" to have a baby?.  At what age did you have your baby?. If you had a chance to do it all over again, would you wait?


Ro said...

Love this post. I get it. Im going to be thirty next year and E will be 2 a couple months after. I was also having alot of fun ( and working crazy hard)in my 20's and also- had no desire to have kids. That desire didnt come until- well lets be real until I found out I was pregnant lol. But the readiness- was there and it was right on time. I think people should do things when timing is right as well.. but sometimes it works out either way.

Go Young Mommy's!

Alex said...

I'm glad you could relate. People always told me that 30 was "too old" but I think it was just right.

Thanks for reading!